Memory Records Of Bastard Magic Instructor 2 – Genius Or A Fool

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CREDITS

Author: Taro Hituji

Illustrator: Kurone Mishima

Translated By: Max

Edited By: Ice, Anonymous Editor (Requested for privacy reasons)

Light Novel English Release = Season 2. Upvote it over at J-Novel Club! 

Translation Starts Here

One morning at the Alzano Imperial Magic Academy.

A commotion had begun…

Within the main Academy building’s conference hall, where instructors and professors quickly gathered… What could possibly unfold within this prestigious conference?

“I wonder what’s with this emergency meeting for all of us faculty…?”

“Well…perhaps Baron Zest did something again?”

“That’s inexcusable, Professor Orruk! I have not sexually harassed any female students during this month’s Mind Control Magic classes, nor did I cause any trouble to justify seeing female students lose their sanity by showing them something taboo!”

“Oi…is anyone going to stop this guy?!”

At that moment.

Headmaster Rick entered the conference hall where the faculty had gathered, and settled onto the headmaster’s seat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s begin this meeting immediately.”

One of the faculty inquired about the Headmaster’s rugged and grave expression.

“Headmaster, what on earth happened?”

“To be blunt, Professor Orwell Schuzer just asked for an assistant…to help test out his new magical invention…”

At that moment, everyone went dead silent.

And then.

“Uwaaaaaaa! Is that so?! It’s that time again?!”

“What the hell?! Is that man still alive?!”

“Last time, he was insistent on causing that tragedy!”

“Will someone please get rid of him already!”

The conference room broke into a frenzy all at once.

“It can’t be helped…Orwell is a genius Quinde (Rank 5) magician at such a young age, and is the head of an aristocratic family that donates to the Academy yearly…so we can’t really ignore his requests when they come up…”

“But if we leave Orwell be, we’ll all be headed to an early grave!”

“Eeeeeeh! I don’t want to! I don’t want to get involved with Orwell again!”

“Ah! Professor Reinhardt’s having a panic attack!”

Glenn, who was listening to the meeting, groaned at the agonizing cries that had nothing to do with him.

“Good grief, how annoying…it’s just testing an invention, why all the fuss…? Orwell, huh? Is this person even an instructor?”

“Ah right, you haven’t met him yet, Glenn.”

Celica Arfonia, one of the professors of the Academy sitting next to Glenn, gleefully smiled.

“Orwell Schuzer is a professor of Magic Engineering…he usually shuts himself in his research lab, devoting himself to his research, and he rarely surfaces because of that. As a new professor, it’s no wonder that you haven’t heard of him.”

“I guess…apart from that, what’s with everyone’s reaction against Orwell?”

Given the panic amongst his colleagues, Glenn nervously wondered about how bad it could be. 

“Glenn, Orwell is a misunderstood, but interesting fellow. Even I recognize him as different.”

“That’s quite the reaction, or rather…I’m even more worried now given how you perceive him.”

With Glenn & co in the background, the faculty members gathered for the meeting continued quarreling.

“In any case, I have to sacrifice someone today! If we leave him alone, the damage he causes will only spread further!”

“Bu-, but I don’t want to! I still have a family to go back to!”

“It’s useless…isn’t it tradition for us all to be equally sacrificed to Professor Orwell? Fufufu…”

“Who will it be? Who here hasn’t been harmed by Orwell Schuzer before?!”

Thereupon, and without anyone’s guidance, everyone’s gaze simultaneously turned toward Glenn Radars.

“Eh…? Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?”

“Who shall we sacrifice this time…umu, we’ll take the majority vote on this matter. Raise your hands, for those who believe Glenn is a good candidate.”

The headmaster voiced his declaration.

Whoosh.

In an instant, everyone apart from Glenn and Celica raised their right hand.

“Ok. The majority has unanimously decided on sending Glenn.”

Yay!

Everyone present gave a standing ovation.

“Wha-, what’s with this tyranny of the majority?!”

Glenn raised his head to protest.

“How annoying…go now Glenn, or you’re fired.”

“Eh?! Headmaster?!”

Glenn was taken aback, without expecting the old kind-looking headmaster to react with such intensity.

“Glenn Radars…although I hate you…but just this once, you have my condolences…”

“Even Ha-senpai too?!”

Even Glenn’s natural rival, Halley, spoke while turning pale.

And thus.

“Eeeeeh?! Who the hell is this Orwell guy?! Why am I getting a really bad feeling about this?!”

“Mmm, he is an interesting one…if you don’t want to, I can go in your place instead…”

Celica gave her suggestion to Glenn.

“OH HELL NO!”

“Please Professor Arfonia! Don’t go to Orwell on your own!”

“What if you destroy the world in the process?!”

“You have a fondness for destruction, don’t you?!”

The conference room had fallen into this depressive scene.

“Aw, everyone always stops me for some reason. I wonder why?”

Celica gave a wry smile and shrugged, as if to say it was a shame,

(I can’t stop laughing…)

Glenn thought to himself as he held himself back, looking like a patient suffering from nerve pain.

“However, I can say with confidence that…”

At that moment, Baron Zest regretfully sighed and shook his head.

“Between Professor Schuzer, Professor Arfonia…there aren’t any real magicians worthy of their high ranking in this Academy. I’m disappointed.”

“Don’t you start, Mr Sede (Rank 6).”

Headmaster Rick’s comedy routine with Baron Zest spoke for all those present.


“And so…that’s how I wound up having to go meet this so-called Orwell person.”

At lunch break.

Glenn reluctantly made his way through the corridors of the main Academy building towards Orwell’s Laboratory, whilst glancing at Sistine and Rumia following him from behind.

“I understand your predicament, teacher.”

Sistine pouted whilst glaring at Glenn.

“But why do Rumia and I have to tag along?”

“Isn’t it obvious, White Cat?”

Glenn turned towards Sistine to answer.

“Rumia’s both gentle and kind-hearted, right? This way, in the event that something bad happens, at least she’ll be there to take care of me. All men dream of such romance.”

Sistine tilted her head in response.

“Based on that dumb logic, why am I tagging along then?”

“Isn’t it obvious, White Cat?”

Glenn turned towards Sistine to answer her again.

“You’re both cheeky and naggy, right? This way, in the event that something bad happens, I can at least use you as a meatshield. All men dream of such ro-“

“Let me go, Rumia! Let me at him!”

“Now now Sisti, calm down…I’m sure he’s just joking around…probably anyways.”

Rumia held Sistine back from behind, with her closing remark spoken in a not-so confident tone.

“Anyways…this looks like the place, the so-called laboratory where this Orwell Schuzer works…”

Within the depths of the Academy’s main building, stood an intimidating yet towering door, before Glenn’s group.

“Jeez, I wonder what kind of monsters would bust out of that door…”

Although the door to the lab appears like any other, it seems to be giving off a strange level of intense pressure.

“Ma-, maybe you should reconsider this, teacher…”

Even Sistine appeared to be shuddering before the entrance to Orwell’s Laboratory.

“You really shouldn’t get involved with Professor Orwell Schuzer. Do you know what they call him in the Academy? “The Professor Of Natural Disasters”…a justified title that, despite his genuine talents and abilities, comes with the reputation of exhibiting his talents in unexpected ways that cause all hell to break loose, leading others to get caught up in his unwarranted activities too…in short, he’s a madman on par with natural disasters…”

“I don’t want to get involved, but I’ll lose my job if I don’t…man, work is such a pain…I wish I could just go back to mooching off Celica instead…”

Glenn reluctantly approached to knock on the door, when suddenly…

Bam!

Before Glenn’s eyes, the door loudly slammed open.

“Huh…?”

Glenn was left stunned.

Before the opened door, stood a man wearing a lab coat of sorts.

He appeared to be a professor, in his mid twenties, with unkempt medium length hair that resembles a hobo. He had a glaring left eye, whilst the right had an eyepatch. His facial features were well maintained, and he could be remarked as handsome in a way, but the slight grin on the corner of his lips was a sign of madness. He also wore a strange magical device on his head, an assembled mish-mash of magical crystals and metal scrap.

At first glance.

This man…clearly appears to be a madman.

“Okay, I’m good with getting fired. Farewe-“

“Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

Unfortunately, Glenn’s plan to bail had backfired.

“Hold your horses! Don’t say a word! For now you will all bear witness to history in the making!”

Ta-da! The man who stood before Glenn’s group, with his body performing some twisty maneuvers on itself…was none other than Professor Orwell Schuzer.

“From this point on, I shall read your mind to describe what you’re thinking, with this invention of the century, the “Dragon’s Tears”!

Orwell began tinkering with the crystal ball on his helmet, and stared towards Glenn’s group who remained stunned at his appearance.

“Hmm…I see…I see it now! You’re all thinking ‘I’m hungry’, right?! And you would all like to have something to eat now, yes?!”

“No, you’re way off.”

In actuality, Glenn’s group was thinking about wanting to get out of there instead.

“What?! I guessed wrong?! Of course! I must’ve misinterpreted the Soul Pattern then…I see now! You’re all worried about tomorrow’s weather! That must be it!”

“No, not even close.”

“Goddammit!”

Orwell looked up to scream towards the heavens.

“The waveforms from a soul change color and shape based on its host’s emotions, that’s the Soul Pattern itself! This device had proven the ability to completely analyze Soul Patterns to begin with, but why?! Why can’t you read minds?!”

“A-, analyze Soul Patterns?”

Sistine’s expression changed upon hearing Orwell’s claims.

“Oi, are you for real?”

Even Glenn himself was sweating at being told something so unbelievable.

 “Certainly! Who do you think I am? The talented genius Orwell Schuzer of course! I’ve already collected enough data about this to present my findings before the Magical Society! But because of the changes within Soul Patterns, it’s not stable enough to read minds yet…”

With a disappointed expression, Orwell began murmuring to himself.

“Um teacher? Sisti? What is this Soul Pattern thing?”

Being left out of the conversation, Rumia asked Glenn & Sistine.

“As that madman puts it, the soul pattern is the Soul Waveform that changes based on the host’s emotions. It showcases everything there is to know about a soul, which differs from person to person. In short, it’s like the fingerprints of a soul.”

“In the study of White Alchemy, which involves researching the mysteries of life, that itself is the biggest obstacle to study. Analyzing human souls is both expensive and time consuming, and it’s not guaranteed to be successful. Even today, the White Alchemy Research Lab takes up a large chunk of the Empire’s national budget just looking into this.”

“So to have a device to analyze Soul Patterns just like that…”

Having only heard rumors about Orwell’s exploits, to see his abilities in action himself was enough to cause Glenn to both marvel and shudder at what he just witnessed.

“You invented this incredible device, didn’t you?”

“Indeed I did! If presented before Magical Society, it’ll cause a major uproar amongst fellow mages! Changing the course of White Alchemy research forever-“

Despite Glenn and Sistine’s genuine praises…

“Goddammit! Your flattery is appreciated, but it’s all for naught!”

Not knowing what pissed him off, Orwell’s tone shifted to that of a whining child.

“After all this, my envisioned technique to ‘Read people’s minds through their Soul Patterns’ remains unfinished!”

“Not that it matters too much though? If you want to hear people’s thoughts, there’s already the convenient spell White Magic [Mind Read] for such an occasion.”

“You’re right! Even though Professor Schuzer’s technique to ‘Read people’s minds through their Soul Patterns’ had failed, his progress on analyzing Soul Patterns should be worth celebrating as an achievement in the books of Magic History.”

“Eh? There’s such a spell?”

Orwell blinked at what was being told to him.

He was stunned upon his realization.

“Of course there’s such a spell, but it’s still a basic White Magic spell.”

“I see…so that means…”

Orwell calmly reached for the device he wore on his head..

“This piece of crap is completely worthless!”

Crash!

He slammed the device onto a wall.

The greatest invention in the history of humanity’s research into Magic, had shattered into pieces.

“Aaaaaaah! Wh-, what are you doing?!”

“It would seem that I’ve made a mistake in my prerequisites for this experiment. No matter, even a genius faces some setbacks.”

“Like hell they do! Your prerequisites weren’t the problem! You can fix this, right? Don’t you have the blueprints for this?!”

“Is there one? Good question, since I did assemble this on a whim as a hobby of sorts to pass the time. Seeing that I’ve lost interest in this device, putting it back together will just be a waste of my time, and I don’t see any reason to! I rather cut myself than bother with it any further! Ah ha ha ha ha!”

“Ah! Now I know how the other professors feel, this man’s completely insane!”

“Ugh, my head hurts…maybe I really shouldn’t have come along…”

Glenn and Sistine held their heads down and moaned at what just transpired.

“That reminds me, who are you people?”

At that moment, Orwell’s curiosity turned towards identifying Glenn’s group.

“Ah, we’re the ones sent to assist you with testing your latest inventions, Professor Schuzer.”

Rumia replied with a wry smile in place of the depressed Glenn.

“Oh, so you’re the new assistants! Welcome, many thanks for your assistance.”

“But, since this new device is now broken, it does look like we won’t be of much use to you…”

“Nonsense! Garbage like that is nothing compared to the latest invention made by the genius that is myself! The true test begins now!”

“Yeah, no. We’re leaving.”

Just as Glenn’s group turned their backs to walk away…

“Bwa ha ha ha ha! Don’t be so shy, please come in!”

Again, Orwell had foiled Glenn’s plans to escape.

“You will all bear witness to a turning point in Magic History today!”

“We just did, watching you destroy it on the spot!”

“Hmm… <<Let’s・Catch>>!”

Orwell snapped his fingers.

From within the laboratory, a huge golem hand reached out to grab Glenn’s group.

“Uwa! Mama!”

“Kyaaaaa!”

“Uwa, it looks like we’re caught…”

“Ah, the “Grab Ladies Into My Place”-inator has finally come in handy.”

“Hey, isn’t this a crime?”

“So what? If it means motivating shy young boys who can’t make the first move in learning how to talk to people, then so be it!”

“You’re throwing them off a cliff is what you’re doing!”

“But, this is amazing…to invent a golem with such high output and control…if you presented something like this to Magical Society, you could progress the development of golems by about 50 years!”

“Bwa ha ha ha! I welcome you three to my laboratory!”

“Kyaaaaaaaa!”

The trio were dragged into the room with their screams left behind.

As the door into Orwell’s Laboratory slammed shut.


Having failed their attempt to escape from Orwell Schuzer, 

Having given up on the idea of escaping, Glenn’s group briefly introduced themselves to Orwell as they began wandering his laboratory.

It was filled with mysterious magical devices, various magical items, unfinished blueprints and machinery being worked on, with a mishmash of attractions occupying every inch of the lab.

“Wha-, what is that device that takes up half the lab?”

“Don’t touch that, White Cat lady. It’s a dangerous device that makes sunny-side up eggs at a certain time of day, without needing any outside energy. Truly the greatest ally to housewives everywhere!”

“Eh?”

“Unfortunately, it’s a failure. I like half-boiled eggs, but it’s difficult to adjust its heat output. I’ll probably dismantle it some other time.”

“But isn’t that…what they call a Perpetual Motion Machine…?”

Sistine dropped a cold sweat as she muttered, as Orwell was distracted by something else.

“Oh, Mr Glenn, you have fine taste! That device you’re holding there is a solar powered lamp, able to convert sunlight into magical energy, where it is used to empower its own ability to light up. A lamp for lighting, if you will.”

“What? Converting sunlight into magical energy?! Converting inorganic energy into something life-like…that’s amazing.”

“Unfortunately, that too was a failure. Turns out the lamp itself doesn’t work in darkness, maybe the basic theorem for it is off. I’ll dispose of it later.”

“You’re thinking about it the wrong way! Aren’t you aware of what your inventions are capable of?!”

Glenn scratched his head at Orwell’s response.

“If anyone from the Academy visited this laboratory, most of them would probably lose their self-confidence…”

Rumia let out a wry smile.

Having walked through the cluttered lab, where inventions that answered the many mysteries mages had pursued all their lives laid across the room, the group came upon a reception room in the back.

Orwell appeared to be well versed in the fundamentals of hospitality, and began preparing tea to offer Glenn’s group.

“Come, please have a sip. It’s a hobby of mine to make something like this home garden here. Through my personal selective breeding process learnt from the classical knowledge of White Alchemy, behold! My personal breed of tea leaves within that flower pot!”

Glenn’s jaw dropped upon witnessing the tea leaves within the pot by the corner of the room.

“Hey now, it’s a well cultivated garden, yes? By all means, drink as much as you want! Please, have some more!”

“This is…I know this distinct leaf. I’ve read about it in a classic picture book about vegetation. Isn’t this the fabled Noble Restoril, a high grade tea leaf that’s supposed to be extinct? Did you manage to reproduce it?”

“Honestly I don’t know what that leaf is. Besides, I don’t like the taste, and can’t be bothered to learn more about it. Also, it smells so…awful, even third rate tea leaves sold at the marketplace are better than this!”

“Eh…?”

“Even though I cultivated these leaves, I can’t grow any good ones. I suppose even geniuses have fields they don’t excel at…that said, I’m tired of this home garden crap now! I’ll probably toss the excess leaves to the Academy’s chicken herb farm later!”

Glenn sighed at the thought of Orwell’s words.

“To think countries used to wage blood soaked wars for this tea, and here you are using it as chicken feed…”

“Uwa…Sisti, this tea tastes amazing! I’ve never tasted something this delicious before!”

“We should be celebrating after drinking this fabled tea but…why does it feel like something killed the mood…”

Sistine could only force herself to gulp down the tea, whilst feeling a sense of tragic regret.

“Anyways, now that tea time’s almost over, let’s get down to business!”

Whatever you say, was the same thought shared between the trio of Glenn’s group.

“Before I unveil my great invention of the century, I must first ask you three. What do you think about the current state of our Alzano Empire?”

In contrast to the defeated expressions shared amongst Glenn’s group, Orwell asked his question in a serious tone.

“Those overseas fanatics, the ones from the Rezalia Kingdom, ruled by the Church of St. Elizares, have been trying to annex the Alzano Empire for decades now. With each passing year, tensions between the two sides have only escalated, and it’s only a matter of time before the second Divine Reverence War breaks out, causing another dangerous bloodbath for those involved. Even though the Empire has superior military technology, the Rezalia Kingdom’s numbers and population greatly outnumber us, and it’s only a matter of time before we lose this advantage…”

“!”

“Not to mention those domestic terrorists, the Researchers Of Divine Wisdom, operating within the Empire itself like the cancer that they are. With the increasing number of terror attacks by the organization’s heretic mages each passing year, it’s clear that their plans for the Empire are not pleasant for anyone. Although their surface level propaganda involves wanting mages to rule the world, their true purpose remains a mystery. Anyone can see that. My guess is that their true goal involves some horrific conspiracy nobody will see coming…”

“What are you saying…”

“Don’t you get it? The time of peace we’ve enjoyed appears to be our everyday lives, but it’s the kind of peace built upon the fragile foundations of thin ice, like some castle in the sky. This peace can be easily shattered by the actions of a single person, and as a mage who pledged allegiance to his homeland, the Alzano Empire and to her Majesty, I cannot sit idly and overlook this potential pitfall!”

“Orwell…”

“Peace is never a given! Especially from others! So it falls on us to fight for it! When a crisis occurs, we should never expect anyone to lend a hand, but instead think about what we can do on our own instead! I worry about the Empire’s future, always pondering about what I can or should do…that’s why I dedicate this invention of mine to Her Majesty, the Queen.”

(That’s surprising…I didn’t expect him to be this determined…)

(Although he looks like a madman, he’s just like a normal person…guess it’s not just his talents that keep him from being fired…)

(Maybe that’s why he uses his abilities in so many pointless ventures…)

Glenn, Sistine and Rumia simultaneously sighed.

“Fine. I understand your reasoning now…so what did you invent anyways?”

“Care to take a guess after all I told you?”

“Not really…though, I’m guessing it has something to do with national defense?”

Sistine’s eyes sparkled at the thought of what he had invented.

“National defense…could it involve semi-autonomous combat-ready magic golems primed for battle?

“Eh? Although it’s possible to have golems perform minor operations in the field, there are still concerns about their operational stabilities and combat performance on the frontline, which I estimate would take about a decade to approve for actual combat.”

At Sistine’s guess, Rumia excitedly spoke up.

“If that’s the case, that would be great, right, Sisti?”

“Correct! Even if war broke out with Rezalia, this would help compensate for the disadvantage in numbers! We can even have them added to our domestic security…”

Sistine and Rumia stared at each other whilst conversing.

“No no, young ladies. Think this through again, what you’re proposing is more of an improvement rather than an invention, right? During these turbulent times, both domestically and overseas, think about what the people of the Empire want the most in a situation like this. From this angle, you can find the solution to this predicament.”

Seeing the puzzled expressions across Glenn’s group, Orwell interjected with the answer.

“Of course, in times like these…the people need the existence of what I call, a [Hero Of Righteousness]!”

“…what?”

The trio could not understand Orwell’s words.

“In this age of darkness where evil spreads to oppress the weak, there remain those who fight against fate to become the shining hope that guides humanity, what we call heroes! So long as they exist within the hearts of people, humanity will never succumb to despair! The ray of hope for innocent people, heroes! That’s what people really want!”

(Crap…although he’s upfront about his intentions…he’s still rather abnormal…)

(Although he’s similar to a normal person…his maturity level is so childish…is there really no way to fire him…)

(Maybe this is why his pointless ventures keep backfiring…)

“That is why!”

Ignoring the trio who remained frozen over his recent declaration, Orwell took out a belt with an unusual Buckle on it to present before Glenn.

“The magic tool that lets you transform into the Hero Of Righteousness, the ‘Masked Knight’s Soul’! Boom! Even I scare myself sometimes with my exploits! Bwa ha ha ha ha!”

“What the heck is this?”

Without thinking it through, Glenn took up the Buckle to stare at it whilst muttering.

“Allow me to explain! By wearing this around your waist, and chanting the spell in the right pose, you can transform into the Hero Of Righteousness, ‘Masked Knight Kaiser-X’!”

“Ugh…I had a hunch it would work like that…”

Glenn couldn’t be bothered to sigh in disappointment anymore.

“This utilizes the latest Magic Engineering technique of crystallization via Alchemy! It can instantly conjure up the armor and weapon of the Masked Knight to automatically attach to its user’s body! While wearing the armor, the user gains powerful physical strength and enhanced durability! Its weapon, the sword, is an amazing tool powerful enough to cut through steel like butter!”

“Gee…this is a dumb idea, but it sounds cool, right?”

Glenn was a little surprised at what he was learning.

“The catch is that you can’t use Magic whilst in the armor.”

“What’s the point of not being able to use magic?! In this age where magic will be used in times of war, why does anyone need something this backwards?!”

Glenn squealed to the heavens upon hearing that.

“No matter how powerful its physical and defensive capabilities, how do you survive standing against opponents who constantly cast powerful spells with just a sword and a suit?!”

“Shut it you moron! What about magic? That’s ridiculous!”

Orwell’s eyes turned bloodshot red during his retort against Glenn.

“A hero is justice! What is justice? Chivalry of course! What about magic? To rediscover the long forgotten soul of justice lost to time in this age of magic, that being Chivalry of course! With this magic tool, the ‘Masked Knight Soul’, I intend to prove that a knight’s sword is better than some magic trickery! And I’ll do that by using this super magic tool of the century invented by the genius that is me to prove it!”

“There’s so many things to complain about…I just want to go home!”

“Ah ha ha…”

Glenn had lost the will to continue, whilst Rumia gave a wry smile.

“Anyways, Professor Glenn, put on the ‘Masked Knight Soul’ and transform into the Hero Of Righteousness, ‘Masked Knight Kaiser-X’.”

“No way, I’m leaving…eh?”

Glenn wanted to leave the Buckle he picked up, but…

“What the…? My hand grabbed the Buckle, but refused to let it go?”

“Fu fu fu…only the chosen one could pull the sacred sword from the rock…the same applies to that Buckle!”

Orwell pointed at Glenn to laugh.

“Also, the Buckle itself chooses its master! It would appear that you’re the hero chosen to use its powers! Just as I expected from the man tasked with this job!”

“Wha, what the hell?”

“Well technically, the Buckle itself calculates the transformation compatibility with the person who touched it, and if said person fits the bill, it grants the “blessing” of not letting you go. This is how it works!”

“Blessing?! This is more of a curse dammit!”

“Call it whatever you want, it doesn’t matter. Anyways, Professor Glenn, you won’t be able to let go of the Buckle of your own free will, but I can help you get rid of it if you do well…hmm, I wonder what I should do…ku ku ku…”

“Tch…guess I don’t have much of a choice…”

Glenn could only look down in despair.

“Come on teach, the sooner we finish testing, the sooner we can leave…”

Sistine moaned in exhaustion.

“It can’t be that bad right? So far, none of the professor’s inventions had anyone die from them…”

Rumia remarked with an intuitive expression.

“Maybe, I might be the first…”

Whilst Glenn complained in agony, Sistine and Rumia quickly turned away.


And thus.

“HENSHIN!”

“No! Not like that! The sequence should be like this! Raise your arm to the heavens as though you’re grabbing the light of tomorrow!”

“He-, HENSHIN!

“There’s no need to hold back, Professor Glenn. Let yourself go free! Say the line as though you’re letting your old self be reborn into something new!

“Hen-, SHIN!

“More dammit! Listen to your inner soul’s heartbeat, let its microcosmic force echo across your body!”

“Gaaaaa! Why the hell did you make the transformation sequence so damn complicated?!”

“It’s how I pass the time!”

“Are you kidding me?!”

“Fu fu…Rumia, this tea tastes delicious, as expected of Noble Restoril.”

“Mmm, you’re right Sisti. It’s so fragrant that it makes me want to have a bagel with orange jam on top to go with it.”

 “Ooh, that sounds delicious.”

“Hen-, SHIIIIIIN!”

“Perfect! That’s how it should be! Which reminds me…the keyword to transform is not ‘Henshin’, but rather ‘Shunten!’ instead! Tee hee…”

“I’m gonna punch you dammit!”


And so.

“Shun, ten!”

Glenn finished performing the transformation sequence, by posing like a soaring bird flying into the sky, and said the words needed to transform.

Kaw!

A blinding light emerged from Glenn’s Buckle to engulf his whole body…

At that moment, a silver-white armored figure with a white cape appeared before everyone, resembling that of a divine knight of sorts.

“Phew, it worked. I really am a genius, aren’t I?”

“…whoa…”

Glenn looked around the room through the face mask that engulfed his head, unwillingly voicing his admiration for what just happened.

“I was wondering what kind of abnormal transformation would happen…”

“He looks like a knight from a storybook…”

“Teacher, you look so cool!”

Although the armor appeared to be rather high-end, its refined design gave off an extraordinary charm about it.

“Fu…but of course.”

Orwell proudly brushed his hair before the tip.

“To think it took me only three days to complete the Instant Armor Fabrication process while it took me a whole three years just to finalize its design!”

“How stupid are you-…wait, don’t answer that…I already know…”

Glenn couldn’t be bothered with Orwell anymore.

That said, there was a sweet payoff with this invention of his.

The moment his body became engulfed with the armor itself, Glenn could feel an overwhelming surge of power flowing through his body with the physical strain on his body being absent whilst wearing the armor. Despite its heavy appearance, Glenn was surprised to find that the armor was made of some type of silver alloy that made it lightweight, saving the trouble of having to assess its defensive capabilities.

In contrast to modern day Alchemy, this Instant Armor Fabrication technique to instantaneously arm its user within an armored suit is arguably two, maybe three generations ahead.

Granted, the field of Magic Engineering had progressed to the point where such an instantaneous technique was possible in practice, even if it was used for something this ridiculous.

“Anyways, looks like the test was a success. Can I go now? How do I even take this thing off?”

“Hold it! The test isn’t over yet!”

Orwell jumped forward before Glenn.

“As the Hero Of Righteousness that he is, I must now assess Kaiser-X’s power level!”

“And how are we going to do that?”

“Hmm…it would save us the trouble if some evil forces were to attack us now during this time of peace, but alas, that’s not happening! Why couldn’t something come attack us so we can have Masked Knight Kaiser-X face off against such an adversary?!”

“How do you think that’s a good idea…”

“Didn’t he create this to preserve peace in the first place…?

Glenn and company helplessly sighed.

That said, since there were no foes to fight against, it would appear that they were done with testing for the day, at least that was what Glenn thought to himself, until…

 “It can’t be helped then! I was hoping something would come up to disrupt the peace, but no amount of waiting will change this situation! For this occasion, and for the sake of preserving peace, I’ve prepared something to disrupt this time of peace instead…!”

A brilliant plan just crossed Orwell’s mind.

“Hold up, your plan isn’t making any sense…”

Glenn grabbed Orwell by his front, with his masked glare staring into the ignorant madman.

“So, let’s unleash the “Evil Training Golems” I’ve developed for such an occasion, to launch an attack on the Academy!”

“What kind of situation are you trying to simulate?! Don’t you have too much free time?!”

“Bwa ha ha, behold! With the flip of this summoning switch, the Evil Training Golems will begin descending onto the Academy, plunging the school into utter chaos!”

Orwell slammed a boxed shaped device with a giant button onto the desk.

“You idiot! If you wanted to test your invention’s combat abilities so badly, we could’ve just used regular Training Golems as sparring partners instead!”

“No, you’re the idiot! By having frightened innocent people fleeing in the face of invading enemies, whose endless cries eagerly call out for a hero to save them, it’s important to set the real world backdrop for such a scenario! All for the sake of collecting accurate data! So long as you, the righteous hero, protect the people, nothing will go wrong!”

“This IS A PROBLEM! What the hell is wrong with you?! There’s no way I’m doing it, I’m done with all this!”

“Oh are you now…well, guess I should also mention that…”

An evil grin crawled across Orwell’s face.

“If you, the righteous hero, choose to surrender without a fight, my Evil Combat Golems will claim those innocent students as their victims instead…”

“Wha…don’t you lay a finger on the students damn you!”

“They also spray a special “Liquid That Dissolves Only Clothes” by the way.”

“Hmm, that does sound like a great invention. Okay, Professor Schuzer, let’s do this.”

Sistine stumbled to the ground at Glenn’s sudden change in heart, which was faster than the turn of a page.

“Leave it to me to protect the Academy!”

“That’s the spirit, Professor Glenn!”

“That’s enough out of both of you!”

Sistine leapt up to slam the table.

Click.

As her palm slammed onto a certain switch.

“Uh oh…”


Meanwhile at the Courtyard, where crowds of students were relaxing during their lunch break.

“Wh-what the…?”

One of Glenn’s students, Wendy, was sitting on a bench reading her favorite book of poems, when she noticed the sudden commotion.

Before anyone knew it, many Combat Golems appeared out of nowhere and began surrounding the students within the Courtyard.

“Combat Golems used for battle…why are they here?”

All around her, the students anxiously stood before the Golems.

Standing before the students–.

“Engaging Program. Commencing Attack.”

–The Combat Golems raised their palms towards them….

Psssssshhhhhh!

A mysterious liquid began ejecting itself from their palms…


“Kyaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Eeeeeh?! My clothes, they’re…”

“Kyaaaaaaaaaa! Don’t come any nearer!”

“No, Wendy! Stop casting Assault Spells at them!”

Within Orwell’s office, the giant crystal ball-shaped device was now broadcasting the unfolding scenes within the Courtyard.

“…this is bad.”

Glenn murmured disappointingly in regards to what he was watching.

After being exposed to Orwell’s “Liquid That Dissolves Only Clothes”.

The Courtyard had devolved into a skin colored paradise.

“You dumbass! Why do they only target male students?!”

Glenn’s exclamation of bloody murder was on point, the Combat Golems only sprayed their liquid onto male students, as the unaffected female students ran away squealing from the Courtyard.

“Hmph. I’m a gentleman who does not lay a finger on women. The Golems are programmed following my personal principles.”

“Who the hell cares, you bastard?!”

Glenn leapt forward to kick Orwell away, who kept a proud looking gentleman-like expression in the process.

“Also, dammit White Cat, look what you did!”

“Ah…awa, I’m sorry, Teacher!”

“Dammit…what should we do? If we don’t take any action soon, the Academy will turn into a naked paradise of boys running around! I don’t want to reside in that sort of hellscape!”

Glenn groaned at the prospect of what laid ahead.

“Damn it to hell, guess there’s no other choice!”

With those words, Glenn desperately departed the lab in a rush.


Throughout the Courtyard were naked male students covering their exposed bottoms with their hands.

“Ha…so-someone, help me!”

Unfortunately for Wendy, who was too slow to make her escape, she could only squeal in panic.

Although the Combat Golems were not programmed to attack females, choosing to wander around looking for new targets, Wendy had failed to notice that fact.

“[Th- Thunder Sprites ・Shock!]”

Despite blasting the Combat Golem repeatedly with the same Assault Spell, it would appear that these ones were not affected at all.


“Bwa ha ha ha ha! It’s useless, little miss twintails! These Combat Golems enhanced by me are primed with enough defensive stability for actual combat! Student-grade Assault Spells are completely useless against them!”

“This isn’t the time to be a wise guy…”

“Ah…ha ha…”

Sistine deeply sighed as she continued watching the events unfolding within the Crystal Ball. 


Meanwhile,

“Ah…father, mother…please forgive me…for dishonoring the family…”

With teary eyes, Wendy had resigned herself to the surrounding group of Magic Golems about to attack her, until…

“Hold it right there!”

A silver knight appeared on the root of the Academy building facing the Courtyard.

“You tyrannical villains who oppress the innocent! Even if God forgives you for your sins, I will not!”

“Eh? Wh-, who the heck?”

“I am a disciple of the sun, Masked Knight Kaiser-X!”

Bam! Glenn posed like a bird flying into the sky.

Don!

Leaping from the roof, the shining silver knight landed gracefully beside Wendy—


As Sistine and Rumia just witnessed Glenn’s performance through the Crystal Ball…

“For some reason he doesn’t look like he’s holding back…as corny as it is…why does it look like the professor is into this?”

“Ma-maybe he’s just trying to accurately play his role as the ‘Hero Of Righteousness’, given the circumstances.”

“Really…teach?”


“To me! The (Self-proclaimed) sacred blazing sword forged by war angels, Exerion Blade (Self-named)!”

Glenn drew out the giant sword on his back, as he swiftly dashed towards the Magic Golems to slash them.

Upon being struck, the sturdy Magic Golems were slashed in half like butter.

“O×OO×O!”

As the Magic Golems squealed its last words, it exploded into a brilliant flash of rainbow lit fireworks, as its remains vanished into thin air…


“What the heck is this? They explode into a rainbow after being destroyed…what’s going on?”

“Bwahahahahaha! Of course their remains explode when they’re defeated! It may have taken me 3 days to finish upgrading these Magic Golems, but it took me 3 years just to complete this flashy explosion sequence! It’s so touching to finally see it in action!”

“That’s a lot of wasted effort…”


As the others continued their off-topic discussion by the Crystal Ball in the lab, Glenn continued his one-sided massacre within the Courtyard.

“Haaaaaaah!”

Backed by the armor’s improved physical ability, Glenn was able to overwhelmingly combat his opponents.

With each attack, another Magic Golem exploded without any resistance.

The sight of a dashing silvery-white armor wielding a shining sword that swung at its opponents, wielded by an individual of superhuman strength and mobility, left a carnage of defeated enemies exploding into dazzling remains.

The Courtyard had become a bustling battlefield of colorful fireworks.

Like some ridiculous over the top painting that depicts battles between angels and demons.

“Kn-knight-sama.”

Wendy tightly clenched her chest to suppress her raging heartbeat, as she continued gazing upon Glenn with teary eyes in awe…


“Hang on, is Wendy…alright?”

“Looking at Wendy’s eyes…she looks like a maiden in love…”

“What a surprising development. An intriguing reaction……very well! I’ve decided on our next research project!”

“Could you please shut the hell up, Professor Orwell?!”


Meanwhile,

“Secret Technique: Flashing Slash!”

Despite Glenn loudly proclaiming the attack name, in reality it was just a swift blow onto the last standing Magic Golem.

As the last Magic Golem exploded, its remains faded into colorful fireworks…

“Hmph…evil will never take over this world! (Damn I sound cool.)”

Little did Glenn realize at the time, he would look back at this moment and cringe at what transpired today. But at this very moment, the adrenaline had suppressed his emotions from thinking rationally, as he sheathed his sword.

He then turned towards Wendy, who appeared to be blushing.

“Are you hurt, milady?”

“Eh? I-, I’m okay…because y-, you did protect me after all…”

The normally strong-willed Wendy was unlike her usual self at the moment, as she lowered her head in embarrassment.

“Th-, thank you…Knight-sama…I sh-, should repay you somehow…”

“Hmm? There’s no need. But if you insist, your smile is the best reward already.”

“Wha-?”

Wendy’s face turned beet red upon hearing Glenn’s compliment.

“Do-, don’t make fun of me…Knight-sama…”

“Ha ha ha! My apologies, I got a bit carried away before a beautiful young lady like yourself.”

With those words, Glenn turned around to flick his cape.

“Should the hands of darkness return to forcibly pluck a beautiful flower like yourself, I shall come to your rescue once again! Farewell!”

As Glenn began marching away without looking back—

“Wa- wait! At least…tell me your real name!”

Wendy reached her hand out towards Glenn’s back with teary eyes.

If this were a stage opera, Wendy would be surrounded by colorful roses to amplify this very scene, but in reality she was surrounded by sobbing naked boys.


“What…the hell…am I watching?”

“Ah ha ha…”

Neither Sistine nor Rumia could comprehend the events unfolding within the Crystal Ball, as they continued watching its events unfold from within the lab.

“…it’s irritating to continue watching…but that should be the end of the test, right?!”

“Y-yeah, all things considered, I’m glad things turned out alright in the end.”

“Also, what kind of line is the professor spouting?! The hell is that supposed to mean?! I’m going to give him a piece of my mind when he gets back—”

Sistine’s sudden mood swing made her turn towards Orwell.

“Professor Orwell! Once the professor returns, help him out of that damn armor of yours before I-…eh?”

However,

“Eh? Professor Orwell?”

Before the two girls knew it, Orwell was no longer at the nearby spot where he stood.

“That’s strange…where did Professor Schuzer run off to?”

Rumia murmured as she tilted her head.


“Ugh…I can’t believe I let myself go that far…”

As Glenn contemplated to himself whilst escaping Wendy, it was at that moment when—

“Kyaaaaaa!”

Wendy’s squeal from behind caught Glenn’s attention to turn back.

As standing before him was,

“Bwahahahahahaha! You got sloppy, Masked Knight Kaiser-X!”

A figure wearing the exact same silvery-white armor as Glenn, only painted black, as he held Wendy with a sword by her neck.

“Oi…you’re…”

“I’ve arrived, for I am the Black Knight!”

“Nope. You’re definitely Orwell.”

Glenn had lost count of how many times he was left stunned today.

“The hell are you up to now?Just…what are you planning?”

“Hmph! As a fellow Masked hero, you must have a rival to eventually confront! For the sake of peace I chose to fall to the path of evil against my will!”

“Oh go to hell.”

“Bwahahahaha! The classic former partner becomes your rival cliche, isn’t that wonderful?”

“No, and we were never partners.”

Glenn shook his head in denial.

“I should explain then. In reality, because the Instant Armor Fabrication technique has never been tested before, it had the life threatening risk of either crushing or suffocating the user. But since your body survived the process, it’s clear that it should be safe! Allowing me to easily fall into the path of darkness, you have my thanks, Kaiser-X! Bwahahahaha!”

“I think I should start beating the crap out of you…”

Thinking back, Glenn couldn’t think up anyone he’s met so far to be this much of a free-spirited bohemian. Sure, him and Celica had their occasional antics, but compared to this madman before him? The mother/adopted son pair looked sane by comparison.

“Come now Kaiser-X, let’s see who’s the real hero! I should also add that the Black Knight armor is two times stronger than yours!”

“Wow…okay…?”

“Also, if you don’t accept my challenge well, I wonder what would happen to this little lady here, you should know right…kukuku…?”

“Kn-, Knight-sama! Don’t fight him…just leave me…!”

“Ah…I don’t know what’s happening anymore!”

Putting aside his urge to complain, there was only one way to resolve this hostage situation…which involved playing hero while confronting the Black Knight, aka Orwell.

“Fine…I’ll take you on, though I’m running out of patience to deal with you anymore…”

“Hmph, you would willingly force yourself for the sake of this young lady?”

“Kn-, Knight-sama…you would do this for me…?”

“Did you forget I still have her as a hostage?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about the hostages. I’ve got the magic words to deal with this situation.”

“…huh?”

Orwell was suspicious at Glenn’s claim, as he threw Kaiser-X’s sword aside…

“Come on Black Knight, drop your weapon and fight me like a man!”

Glenn clenched his fists ready for battle.

As Orwell made his decision.

“Huh…I see…I don’t need a weapon nor a hostage in this battle between men! Whoever you are, I’ll take you on!”

Choosing to remain in character until the very end, Orwell threw his weapon and hostage aside, and charged towards Glenn with his fists…


And so. The end result was unexpected.

Orwell, the exceptional genius but physically inept Magical Researcher, versus Glenn, the experienced professor trained by the Imperial Army. What was the result from this ‘skirmish’ between the two? Is it possible to reverse the results with an armor whose power was doubled? The end result was obvious.

Several minutes later.

“Ah, that’s refreshing…It’s good to still be alive…”

With his unseen face behind the mask, it hid the pleasant smile across Glenn’s face, while laying next to him on the ground…

“…grrrrrffff…”

Pukes blood.

With his armor battered from its original shape, the thoroughly beaten Orwell dressed up as the Black Knight, rolled over like a ragdoll onto the ground.

“O-, of course…no matter how high spec the armor is…it’s worthless without combat experience…I thought something was off…”

Orwell mumbled away.

And so. The two characters came up to one another.

“Knight-sama…you really are a wonderful person.”

“After that gruesome drawn out beating, Wendy’s still playing along…is she genuinely okay?”

“Ah ha ha…I suppose love is blind…”

Wendy gazed into Glenn with enthusiastic eyes, as Sistine and Rumia arrived onto the Courtyard, and sighed in relief.

“You may have won today, Kaiser-X, but remember! So long as there’s darkness within the hearts of humanity, the second, or even the third Black Knight will return someday…farewell!”

Then, Orwell did something with the Buckle around his waist.

Beep. Beep.

Strange beeping sounds were heard from Glenn and Orwell’s armors.

“Self-destruct sequence in 30 seconds.”

Two synchronized magical sounding voices announced at the same time.

“Oi…what did you just do?”

Glenn groaned as his unseen face behind the mask turned pale.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s a self-destruct sequence for self-destruction! A man’s romance! The [Knight’s Soul] also incorporates all sorts of self-destruction techniques too…”

“That’s not a good thing, even for you.”

“And so! In the evil villain’s final moments, he chooses to self-destruct himself! Based on that reasoning, I too will fall alongside you…”

“Oh, I couldn’t care less about what happens to you…what I want to know is, why is my armor’s self-destruct sequence activating too?!”

“…eh? Ah, about that. That’s because I applied the exact same self-destruct mechanism used in my Black Knight’s armor. A playful mistake made by the genius that I am…tee hee.”

“Oh…is that so?”

Glenn glanced towards Sistine.

“N-, nooooo! Knight-samaaaaaa!”

Sistine and Rumia evacuated the others from Glenn, dragging Wendy along with them.

Rumia apologized by bowing with her palms together towards Glenn.

There was no resentment between him and his students. In fact, there was no need for them to get involved in the first place…that much he believed.

But, there was something Glenn wanted to say from the bottom of his heart.

“Are you F-ing kidding meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!”

Katsu!

The sound of Glenn’s last words were drowned out by a huge explosion that shook across the Academy.


The next day.

“Hey? Did you hear?”

“Ah, Professor Orwell did something again yesterday.”

“This time, it’s the worst kind of hell to demonstrate…”

“Ah, I’m glad I’m not involved this time.”

The Academy was aroused by rumors about yesterday’s tragedy.

“…so? What of Professor Schuzer?”

“Oh, he’s still wrapped in bandages across his body, and doing some fishy research in his lab.”

“Eh, he’s not dead yet…?”

“On the contrary, he said he’s found a “Good Rival & Collaborator” for everything…which seems to be motivating him in a good way with maximum excitement.”

“What?! Th-, that’s ridiculous! What kind of idiot is feeding that madman?!”

“I don’t know who it is, but in any case, that bastard has decided…”

While rumors were being discussed across the class, Glenn, wrapped in bandages, was writing magical equations on the blackboard, looking pale.

Sistine let out a deep sigh.

Rumia had nothing but a wry smile.

And so.

“Knight-sama…”

Wendy rested her chin on her hands by the window seat, looking outside with a melancholy expression.

“You were in that explosion, weren’t you…? Yeah…that can’t be…I’m sure he’s still alive…I believe it…and…someday…”

Wendy’s fine lips let out a long sigh,

As it scattered across the clear blue skies of Fejite.

End Transmission.


Afterword

Thanks for checking out the translations. Also a few things to note.

References/Parody:

  • When describing Orwell, the kanji for ‘Hentai’ comes up a lot, which obviously means pervert/perverted. As funny as it is to call him that, the term ‘Madman’ just fits his shtick as a mad scientist more.
  • Masked Knight Kaiser X, is a reference to Toei’s Kamen Rider series.
    • The naming convention for ‘Masked Knight Kaiser X’ is the same format in Kamen Rider. basically ‘Kamen Rider <Insert name here>’.
    • Kaiser-X may also be specifically referencing:
      • Kamen Rider Ichigo (Based on the illustrated pose)
      • Kamen Rider Black/Black RX (Based on Kaiser X’s catchphrase involving the sun)
    • The Japanese text doesn’t copypasta the exact same kanji as Kamen Rider, despite being a clear homage/reference/parody of it.
      • This could be due to some copyright/trademark thing in Japan, where mentioning a trademarked IP (Even in passing) within commercial works can have brutal lawsuit inducing consequences.
  • The term to transform into Kaiser X, ‘Shunten’ (瞬転), is a reference to another Toei Tokusatsu series, Metal Heroes.
    • It’s unclear if the term is used to transform in the Metal Heroes series. If yes, then it makes sense in context, with the way Glenn transforms into Kaiser X.

Series Related:

  • This Side Story takes place before the events of Volume 3, and foreshadows the following:
    • Soul Patterns (Plot device for Project: Revive Life)
    • White Alchemy Research Lab (Setting for V3/V4)
    • The Alzano Empire funding the White Alchemy Research Lab (And everything they’re working on)
    • The Rezalia Kingdom’s rulers
    • LITERALLY every future Orwell Side Story
      • Including a teaser for Orwell’s next ‘testing’ story (Read this story carefully)
      • And that one side story with that one jebaiting Memory Records cover (7)
  • Orwell Schuzer does not appear in the main plot until Volume 10, where events from this chapter have an influence with the help he provides for the Academy.

Also. DO NOT expect regular updates for this. We’re busy with other stuff. D:

Again. DO NOT share this to shit like Novel Updates, or we will shoot it down. ( ´・・)ノ(._.`)


Future Teaser

Disclaimer: This is a teaser. What’s “translated” here is not final.

“Um, Professor Schuzer? May I ask you something?”

“About the [Super Moti-potion], why did it work on everyone else regardless of gender, except for Professor Glenn?”

“Hmm…”

“I suppose I can tell you now Miss ???. In short, the [Super Moti-Potion]…its effects will not affect specific individuals.”

“Specific individuals?”

“Mmm hmm. I theorize that the Super Moti-Aura induces romantic feelings into the consciousness of those exposed to its Magic Wavelength that alters their subconsciousness. However, the Super Moti-Aura will not affect the individual its user has feelings for.”

“The individual its user has feelings for…?”

“A-, ah…s-, so that’s why…”

“Pr-, Professor Schuzer! About what we just discussed…”

“Hmm…relax, I won’t tell anyone. In the name of her Majesty, the Queen, I would never do something so tactless. I am a tight-lipped person after all.”

“A-, ah ha ha…th, thank you…”

“Ah, young love. Pursue him young maiden, I’ll be rooting for you from the sidelines.”


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